


Mornings After

by january_sunshine



Category: Tiger & Bunny
Genre: Family, Father-Daughter Relationship, Gen, Grief/Mourning
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-02-13
Updated: 2012-06-29
Packaged: 2017-10-31 02:25:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 6,792
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/338858
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/january_sunshine/pseuds/january_sunshine
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The mornings following were always the hardest part. A father and daughter try to continue living, however hard it may be. (Pre-series fic.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

The fan blew the same way.

With the warm spring months in Stern Bild, Kotetsu's little house always had fans on. The air conditioning, while useful, was always just the second thought to him. Tomoe had told him it saved on electricity costs and cooled the air at a nicer pace, and he had just gotten in the habit of flicking on the fan, whether or not the light was on.

It made the room seem less cool, helped preserve the last bit of warmth in a body-shaped spot on the mattress. There was still a dent in the pillow, a few brown spots of old blood that she had coughed up before they had hurried back to the hospital. The blankets had hardly been touched, just on his side, when he had dragged himself from his daughter's bedroom a few hours ago. It was still late and he was exhausted. But red-eyed and tired as he was, he couldn't sleep.

The fan was blowing and he was tired.

With a yawn, Kotetsu turned his head to the left and glanced at that empty spot next to him. "You know, Tomoe," he whispered, "it sucks that you're not here when I finally got some time off. I know you wanted me to, said I didn't spend enough time with Kaede and you... I really didn't, did I?"

The pillow didn't say anything else. Of course. She was dead, of course the pillow wouldn't talk.

He sighed and draped his arm over his eyes. Too tired to cry and too alert to sleep, he felt like he had fallen into this uncomfortable melancholy as the mood washed over him.

The fan was still whirring. It bothered him.

But it was three in the morning. Kaede was an early bird, just like...

"Papa?" a tiny voice whispered from the doorway. "Papa? Are you awake?"

Speaking of early birds. Moving his hand above his head, Kotetsu looked towards the door. "Yeah, Kaede honey, I'm up." He smiled, half pathetic and obviously a sign that he was far too tired to try harder, but she didn't seem to mind. Her little sock-clad feed slid across the room in hurried steps as she reached the bed, and she clambered directly onto him. He steadied her with one hand, helping her wiggle her way to rest her head against his chest. Rubbing her back, he smiled sadly at his baby. "Couldn't sleep, huh?"

She shook her head. That was alright.

"Papa couldn't either."

As her fingers gripped against his shirt, he just rubbed her back in slow circles, eyes turning back to the rotating fan. A good minute or two of silence passed before Kotetsu began to wonder if the moving air was making the room too cold. With a concerned frown, he rubbed at her arms, trying to see if she felt colder. She mumbled and tried to tuck her arms underneath her chest, apparently bothered by it.

"Are you cold?" he asked.

"Uh-uh. You're really warm." She yawned and turned her head to face the other way.

Both of them stared at the empty spot next to them.

Kotetsu tried to reflect on what his brother had told him the day before. Even though they were both mourning, Kotetsu still had to be a father; he had to be strong for the both of them. It was hard, but he had to. For the past few days, Muramasa and their mother had been over, stopping by every day to check on them, sleeping over for the nights when Kotetsu just couldn't keep himself contained. They cooked, cleaned up a little, woke up to check on Kaede whenever they could, anything to help. Antonio popped by for a little and spent a bit of time just talking with him. But after a week of the constant in-and-out, Kaede was getting a little fussy and Kotetsu could feel her pain. So he asked for just a night or two on their own, just to themselves, to sit and think for a little.

Muramasa knew Kotetsu was a chatterbox, and it seemed as though Kaede had inherited that. To make things better, he had suggested just talking, Anything, everything, speaking and rambling to ease troubled hearts and restless minds.

It seemed worth a shot. Kaede didn't seem tired anyway.

"Hungry?" Kotetsu broke the silence with a raspy question.

Kaede looked up. "Huh? But I thought we couldn't eat when it was really late. Otherwise it all gets stuck on your hips."

Propping his head up, Kotetsu raised an eyebrow. "Stuck on your hips? Did your mother tell you that?" he asked. When Kaede nodded and glanced at the pillow again, Kotetsu smiled and pat her back again. "Well, when Papa says it's okay, then you can eat anytime you want."

The room felt too cold. Too still, even with the whir of the fan still rotating on the ceiling.

By this point, Kaede had propped her elbows up against his chest. She was so thin and bony that the pressure actually felt like it was jamming into his ribs, but he didn't care. His daughter just looked so cute, so much like her mother. Fair skin, long hair, that little button nose that always made Tomoe look younger than she was...

Oh, _Tomoe_...

Food. Right. "Want something? We can see if anywhere's still open, go for a bit of a ride. Or waffles. Want waffles?"

A tiny smile crept up on his daughter's rosy little lips. "Waffles! But we don't have any syrup." And it was gone, just that fast. "Uncle Muramasa said he was gonna buy some yesterday, but he forgot."

Kotetsu smiled and tucked a loose strand of hair behind her ear. "And you don't like yours with butter, right? What about jelly? We have jelly, right?" When he received a very displeased expression, he found himself grinning. "Then let's go buy some syrup!"

"In the middle of the night?" Kaede asked, obviously shocked by this idea. To her, everything shut down once she went to bed. But that was how she should think, to Kotetsu; he didn't need her knowing there was ever a nightlife. With how ambitious and rambunctious she was, she'd probably end up wanting to stay up past eight on most days!

Noooo no no, she was far too young for that.

...but for tonight, it would be okay. He nodded. "Right now. It's..." He checked his wrist. "Three seventeen in the morning."

That smile returned to his daughter's face and Kotetsu smiled. He could still do this. As he lifted himself from the bed, he gathered Kaede into his arms and waltzed out of the room, flicking the switch to turn that fan off.

He raced down the stairs with her, and the two hurried to put their shoes on. Then, keys in one hand, daughter's hand holding the other, Kotetsu led the way to their little green family car.

* * *

Muramasa let himself in early that morning. He had taken the first train of the day from Oriental Town that day, rather certain that Kotetsu would be awake and sitting in another odd room again. Two days ago, when he was last here, he had found his brother on the floor in the kitchen, staring at the matching mugs Tomoe had gotten them before they were married. He had been mumbling gibberish, something about putting them in a special display instead of just using them as normal, trying to preserve everything as if he couldn't touch anything that they used together for fear of damaging a memory. It was alarming, as was just about everything Kotetsu had been doing lately, so he really couldn't wait to return.

So, upon kicking off his shoes, he found himself surprised to hear the television on, the youthful shouts of some children's show chattering away, and the scent of maple syrup drifting into the room. Were they watching cartoons?

As he progressed further into the room, his eyes finally landed on the two figures resting on the couch. Kotetsu, resting on his side, had one arm protectively wrapped around his daughter, who was curled up net to him. On the coffee table sat two plates and cups, crumbs from waffles freezing in sticky syrup. Well, at least they were eating. Muramasa couldn't help but smile, reaching over to straighten the blanket over the two of them.

However, his movements aroused the younger Kaburagis. As Kotetsu mumbled, something about his toes, Kaede blinked her eyes open. "Uncle 'Masa?" she croaked out.

"Ssh, go back to sleep, sweetie," he whispered to her, pulling the blanket over her shoulders.

"Me and Papa got syrup last night," she continued. "So it's okay, you don't have to anymore."

Muramasa smiled. He remembered promising to buy syrup for them and forgetting just as fast. He actually felt bad, somewhat surprised that his niece had remembered but disappointed that he had forgotten something so important. After all, Kaede never ate her waffles without syrup. Thankfully Kotetsu had it covered... somehow.

"Aniki..."

As Kaede tucked her face back against Kotetsu's chest, Kotetsu's hand idly reached out to grab onto Muramasa's.

"What is it?" Muramasa asked. "Go back to sleep, Kotetsu. It's still early."

"Hn..." Whatever he had planned on saying seemed forgotten, since Kotetsu was quick to let go and pull Kaede closer to him. With a yawn, he closed his eyes again and went back to sleep, wiggling his feet under the blankets more. Muramasa bit back a laugh and just took the used dishes back to the kitchen.


	2. Chapter 2

There was a whirring that woke Kotetsu from his slumber. He felt chilled, cold and disturbed at the soft blowing and the cool air blowing around the room. The fan? Was it the fan? Opening his eyes, his grimace quickly melted from his face as he tried to understand how he landed in the living room with a fan. They didn't have a ceiling fan out here...

The whirring stopped.

Kotetsu sat up, running a hand through his hair as he glanced around. Kaede was no longer next to him, or even in the room, and the blanket already on the floor. But why was the apartment so cold?

"Owww! You're pulling it!" came the young girl's whine from upstairs.

"Sorry, sorry," responded a deeper voice. "Give me one second..."

Silence followed, then a sudden: "Ow!" Kotetsu took that as his cue to figure out what his brother was doing. Crossing the living room, he felt a gust of cold air blow across his shoulders and turned to the source: the air conditioning was on far too high. He shook his head and just continued, chasing after the sound of Kaede's miserable mumbling of letting Papa do it even if it looked weird, and found the two standing in front of the mirror in the hall bathroom. Kaede held her favorite scrunchie while Muramasa held her comb, both of them looking quite sour.

"Oh, you're up," Muramasa said. He held out the comb. "We were trying to blow dry it better but-"

"Papa, can you brush my hair for me? Uncle Muramasa keeps pulling it," the child interrupted, holding the hair tie out for him.

Kotetsu couldn't help but laugh. That always happened, every time Muramasa tried to brush her hair. But the older man was trying to be a helpful uncle, so Kotetsu didn't tease him for it. Instead, he took the comb when Muramasa offered it to him. "You're trying to comb it straight off, aren't you?" he guessed. "Look, just pull this part off with the comb, then brush the rest." Parting a small section in the front from the rest, he set the comb down and picked up the pink and yellow brush, gently moving Kaede's hair back to a ponytail. She fiddled with the front part, blowing it up and away from her face while Kotetsu brushed the hair.

Doing Kaede's hair was one thing Kotetsu was-quite surprisingly-good at. It was part Tomoe's doing, and part because Kotetsu had been an odd kid back in junior high. Fashion had consisted of braids, corn rows, weird ponytails, jagged parts... and Kotetsu, desperate to fit in with his friends, found himself doing just about everything his little group of buddies did. Muramasa didn't think it would ever come in handy, but, ironically enough, he could still do a perfect little braid and a tight and perky side ponytail in his daughter's hair.

Once Kaede's hair tie was secured in place, she laughed and touched the ponytail, then glanced to both men. "Thank you! Now it doesn't look all messy anymore!"

With that, she climbed down from her little yellow step-stool and bounced downstairs.

Kotetsu actually felt rather accomplished. Muramasa smiled and pat his shoulder.

They decided to have curry for lunch, Kaede's decision. The apartment warmed rather quickly when the air conditioning was turned off, just as the sun chose to shine overhead. As Kotetsu chewed his spoonful, he stared, narrow-eyed at the window, wondering why it was such a beautiful day. With the pleasant temperature and the warm sun, this was perfect park weather.

It had been nice like this on the day of her funeral, too. He remembered Kaede asking to bring her sunglasses when he was putting her shoes on.

Just so nice, warm...

His eyes clouded, vision flooded with the memory of pale, ivory skin framed by straight, dark hair, and a gentle smile.

" _Kotetsu_ ," he could hear her whisper.

 _Tomoe_...

A hand nudged his shoulder. "Kotetsu," Muramasa called softly.

He blinked, surprised to find his lids fluttering twice as hard to clear away a wet and blurry view. A warm tear slid down his cheek. That, he wasn't expecting... Still dazed, the young hero just turned to look at his brother, a melancholy expression etched on his face.

"What is it?" Muramasa asked softly. "Kotetsu, say something."

It took a few seconds, but Kotetsu quickly shook his head, brushing his cheeks with the back of his hand. "N-nothing," he whispered. Crying... he hadn't done that in a while, not since the funeral. God, he remembered that day; he was an absolute wreck that day. He could remember the pristine white coffin, and those lavender flowers resting in a soft bouquet...

Shaking his head, he brushed the back of his hand across both eyes. And with a soft sigh, he looked towards the floor. "I'm fine. Don't worry about me, aniki," he replied in a quiet voice. It was almost unnerving how soft his volume could get, especially with how loud and boisterous he was on a daily basis. "I just... I..." He shook his head. He just didn't know. His chest had seized up, strangling any further words from him. Sometimes it just hurt thinking about it. But he had to keep it together, he _needed_ to keep it together. He wasn't doing this just for him-he still had his daughter.

Eyes quickly looked around, trying to find the young girl. He just needed to see her, just to make sure she was alright. Thankfully, his moment of panic dissipated when he saw the small girl walking out of the kitchen, carefully balancing a cup. Kotetsu heaved a sigh of relief when he realized that she had missed his entire moment. That was good. Kaede didn't need to worry; no, that was papa's job.

Her bare feet took slow steps carrying her into the living room, and she set the juice down on the coffee table.

"What's this for, baby?" he asked.

"Not yet!"

She ran into the kitchen and reappeared with a plate that held three chocolate chip cookies. Setting those next to the juice, she smiled at him.

"When I was sad, Mommy always made me a snack. You looked sad, so I made you a snack too."

Kaede didn't expect for Kotetsu to pull her into his arms, but all she could do was hug back when he started crying. When he finished, she made him eat his cookies and Muramasa convinced him to take a nap.

 

* * *

 

Things were calm. Calm, so calm, and it hurt. Kaede was yawning, already exhausted from her wonky sleep schedule, but she didn't want to go to bed just yet. No one argued with her, especially as she sat with Uncle Tony, drawing on her new pad of paper. With his best pal, Antonio, and Muramasa both around to help watch Kaede, Kotetsu managed to take in a bit more leisure time. That was what landed him on the couch again, poking through an old Hero book.

They were calling him back to work.

Small jobs, just an interview and maybe one or two daily missions, just to show that he wasn't completely gone. Kotetsu knew Tomoe would have wanted him to work; she told him that at the hospital. He really didn't want to. Just the idea of running off to apprehend criminals and not knowing what to do with his baby girl now that she didn't have her stay-at-home mom watching her...

Thankfully, Ben said he had a few days to think it over.

As Kotetsu flipped a page, Muramasa poked his head into the room. "Hey, Kotetsu."

The younger man glanced to his daughter, who was ferociously scribbling on her current page, then to his brother. "Yeah?"

"Come help me with dinner?"

"Ah, yeah." Setting the magazine down, Kotetsu joined his brother in the kitchen. He was handed a knife and pointed in the direction of a few vegetables sitting on a chopping block. Meanwhile, Muramasa returned to stirring a pot of steaming rice. Judging by the man's stony but expectant expression, Kotetsu knew they were going to talk.

"So, I heard your job wants you back," the older brother started calmly.

Kotetsu didn't answer.

"Are you going to go back?"

The hero's cutting slowed down, as he spoke his next words with care. "She asked me to," he answered. "Right before I left, she asked me to. But... Kaede doesn't know."

Muramasa stopped stirring. "You never told her?"

He sounded surprised, though Kotetsu couldn't fathom why. Most heroes had families, didn't they? But not many had children, much less ones who knew. "We thought it would be better. We - I... _I_ can tell her when she's older. But... not now. She's too young."

"But what are you going to do?"

Kotetsu fell silent again. Besides the cutting, the young hero couldn't think of a proper response. He just didn't know. Sighing, he slid the first vegetables over and reached for another. Anything to keep his focus away from the stares he could feel from his right. Muramasa was staring at him. Arms crossed, the older man was no longer stirring the rice, but instead focusing most of his energy on the younger brother before him.

"I was talking to mom," he continued, his words spoken slowly. "We were thinking... What if she stayed with us for a little while?"

The cutting stopped.

"Just until she's ready to start school," he continued. "It'll be hard to keep this from her, especially if you're the only one caring for her. She's still too young for school and childcare, and with your schedule, it's too unsteady."

Those words hit hard. It was a subject Kotetsu had been avoiding, but he couldn't put it off any longer. The original reason Tomoe had become a stay-at-home mother in the first place was because they needed someone to watch Kaede. With Kotetsu's salary, just having Tomoe stay cut down on unnecessary daycare bills. But without Tomoe, he'd have to watch out for which missions he could take, and when. And watching his daughter all the time... He still had to work; he had to make money to take care of her.

Being a hero and raising a child wouldn't work that way...

Kotetsu shut his eyes as he felt the familiar sting of tears threatening to work their way down. "Aniki... she's all I have left," he whispered. "What... what do I do?"

Muramasa took a step forward, setting a hand on Kotetsu's shoulder. He didn't say anything just yet, just letting Kotetsu have a private moment to settle his feelings. He made sure to keep any sobs quiet so Kaede wouldn't hear. A few minutes later, as Kotetsu finally managed to bring himself down to a mere sniffles, Muramasa handed him a clean dish rag.

"Kotetsu, let's go back home for a few days. We'll both talk to mom."

With a slow nod, Kotetsu reluctantly agreed.


	3. Chapter 3

The father and daughter duo sat in front of the memorial in Muramasa's old room. Perched on their knees, they clapped their hands together and closed their eyes.

"What should we say?" Kotetsu asked, prompting his daughter.

Kaede opened an eye. "Maybe we should tell Mama about what we're going to do."

"Good idea." He nodded. "Tomoe honey, Kaede and I have made a very mature decision today. You should be so proud, she's so grown up already!" His voice took on a teary edge, but with his typical joking attitude, Kaede mistook it for melodramatics and elbowed him in the side. "Yes! Yes. Kaede is going to move to Oriental Town and live here with my mother. And closer to you."

"And Dad's going back to work," she continued. "His job is very important, so he has to be back."

"But Papa will call every single day," Kotetsu added.

Kaede nodded with enthusiasm. "Uh-huh! And Grandma's going to put me in preschool!"

It was good for her, he had to remind himself. School, learning, something to keep her mind going, along with a constant, watchful eye at home... It was safer here anyway. Kotetsu honestly wanted to cry, especially at how happy Kaede sounded.

The change of scenery sounded fun to her.

He put on a smile.

"Don't worry about us, Tomoe," he said softly to the photo on the memorial. "We're figuring this out."

* * *

  
The first night Kaede spent in Kotetsu's old room, she cried. Even with her stuffed animals and her night light, going to sleep in that lonely little room on the side corner of the house felt isolated and scary. Kotetsu understood; he could remember when the tree's branches used to scratch against the windows and he'd wake up terrified.

It was enough that both he and his mother had rushed to the doorway to console the poor girl. But as they approached, his mother told him to stand back and wait. And, while out of sight of the doorway completely, Kotetsu listened while his mother entered the room alone. She sat on the edge of the bed, and from a very careful peek from around the door frame, he could see her stroking the child's hair. It didn't take long for Kaede to quiet down, and even less time for the exhausted girl to fall asleep.

And that bothered him.

He was in the living room, can of beer in hand, when Anju returned. She sat on the couch next to him, reaching over to pat his leg.

"Kotetsu, are you sure you can do this?" she asked. "Don't you think you should get a more settled position?"

He sighed. "Mom... I can't. This is my job, it's how we made it this far. If I left..." Looking away, he remembered the hospital room. Pristine white walls, his pale beauty sitting before him, dark eyes staring right at him. _A promise_... He couldn't go back on his promise. He'd be a hero. He had to.

"I can't do anything else..."

Anju was quiet for a long moment after. But then she pat his leg again, looking at him with softer eyes. "Alright. You now I don't want to push you; I just worry."

"Me too," he whispered. "Mom... she's my baby girl. How can I leave her?"

"Parenting is hard." Her hand squeezed his knee. "Come now, no need to cry. You're not leaving her, you're just getting a long-term babysitter. And you're letting her visit grandma. It's okay."

"I guess so... I'm going to miss her so much."

Anju wasted no time pulling him over for a hug. And for the second time that day, he just cried until he couldn't anymore. But that was what he liked about his mother. She never brought it up after, and she always hugged him for a long time afterward.

* * *

  
Kotetsu woke with conflicting temperatures the next morning. The an in Muramasa's old room was blowing strong, colder than Kotetsu could remember turning it to, but he felt an odd pressing heat to his left. His first worry was that he had accidentally rolled onto his brother's futon, but he realized that he was still on his pillow. Had Muramasa rolled to him?

Glancing over his shoulder, Kotetsu noticed that the warm body next to him was actually quite small. Like four-year-old small. He peered under the blanket to find a sleeping Kaede curled up, fingers gently gripping the back of his shirt.

Did she sneak in last night?

With a sigh, he stroked her hair. "Oh, baby..." She was in a deep enough slumber that Kotetsu figured he could sneak away. After all, if she had woken up in the middle of the night, she wasn't sleeping consistently enough, which meant she could be more tired than usual today. And that wasn't a good thing, especially if he was trying to get her more acquainted with a stable lifestyle here.

She probably turned the fan down when she slipped in. These children, always so warm-bodied. He slowly slipped from the futon and turned the fan off completely, then spent the next five minutes just staring at his child. In his absence, she had rolled over, hands wrapping up in the blanket covering her. She didn't notice him gone. That was good. But... could he sneak away?

He managed to slip out once to use the bathroom, but he was right back in the doorway once he was finished, observing the girl. She was still asleep. Perfectly angelic, small and cute as a button, and completely out of it.

His second escape was to visit the kitchen for a glass of water. Still asleep. So, with glass in hand, he slipped out to find his mother - and the poor woman had to stop Kotetsu from running back to the room another time.

"Kotetsu, she's still asleep," she scolded him. "If you keep opening and closing the door, you're going to wake her. Goodness, you're so wound up today. Come, help me water the plants."

He quietly slid his feet into his slippers and joined Anju in the garden. She handed him the hose, and he just worked on spraying everything as evenly as possible. Childhood had given him a lot of practice with this. Sometimes he helped voluntarily; sometimes it was punishment.

"It'll be okay, you know," Anju broke the morning silence. "She's a strong child."

"She's only four and she crawled into my bed last night," Kotetsu argued, frowning. "Mom, I don't know if I can do this."

She took his hand, helping him guide the hose evenly. "You can. You're not abandoning her; you're just working long-distance. Remember, we're doing this for her sake. It's going to be hard, but you both need the stability."

"Mom..."

Her hand tightened around his. "Call every day, even if you're sick."

"Every single day," he said. He nodded affirmatively.

She smiled. "I mean it. No keeping to yourself. And don't try to skip a day and come up with some lie."

"I won't!" With a pout, he tried to mask his embarrassment over his mother already knowing his habits so well. Anju was talking about five years ago, when he found out Tomoe was pregnant and wouldn't answer his phone because he wasn't sure how to break the news without sounding really lame. And in the end, Tomoe told Anju herself. He doubted he would do something that dumb a second time, especially after the chewing out he got.

With a laugh, Anju helped him turn off the hose. "Good. Have you eaten yet?" At the shake of his head, she pat his shoulder. "Come on, then. Can't have you losing your strength from being sad all the time." Plus, she knew her baby boy needed a bit of coddling.

Kotetsu smiled, nodding at his mother as he set the hose down. He knew what she was doing, and honestly? He couldn't help but love the special treatment. His mother fixed him a fairly complex breakfast and even sat down with him while he ate. He felt like a child again.


	4. Chapter 4

School was a scary experience for Kotetsu. Whether he was five or thirty-five-not that he was actually thirty-five, no, he still had a few more years for that-he was still trembling with those awkward jitters, fumbling over everything. It was bad enough when he was a student, but it seemed ten times worse with Kaede. She was just so small and so new! How could he leave her for _five whole hours_?

Kaede, in comparison, seemed quite calm over this. In her little pink shirt and denim shorts, she had her favorite scrunchie and had braided her hair all by herself. Hell, Kotetsu was sure she even got dressed by herself, since Anju had been preparing her backpack. As the little girl settled herself at the table, she beamed over at the anxious man before her. How could she be so calm? It must have been a trait she had picked up from her... mother...

"Hi, papa!"

He grinned. "Aww, Kaedeeee, baby you look so cute!"

With that bright smile growing that much more, she just wiggled in her chair. Saying thank you to papa was overrated, Kotetsu was sure. So he leaned over, his hands reaching for hers. Her little fingers curled against his, and he could have panicked. They were too little, way too little for school!

"Ready for school?" he asked.

"No breakfast?" She gasped.

Laughing, he let his hands cover those tiny ones. They were much bigger than they were the last time they had visited, when her arms could barely stretch across the table like this. She still couldn't, not without kneeling on the chair, but the fact that she was doing that on her own, instead of being perched on her mother's lap, just...

Oh, she looked just like Tomoe...

"Papa, can I have waffles?"

Kotetsu nodded, patting those hands once more before standing up to get her meal. He almost burned the waffles, too.

* * *

  
Kotetsu spent five hours worrying. He went to the bank and he worried. He talked to Ben and he worried. He went to the grocery store and worried. Watched television, checked his phone, made sure the home phone didn't go off, paced around, stopped by to see Muramasa... and worried the whole way. It wasn't until half past two in the afternoon that he could finally breathe, as Kaede pushed open the door and ran into the house.

"I'm home!" she called out.

"Welcome home, baby!" Kotetsu greeted, jumping from the couch. Kaede had forgotten to take off her shoes, but Kotetsu really did not care. He scooped her up, spinning her around. "How was school?"

"Kindergarten is fun!" she answered, her arms draping over his shoulders. She gave him a hug. "Papa, can I go back tomorrow? I got to meet a whole bunch of kids, and everyone was really nice! And the teacher let me take a cookie first at snack time and we got to play outside! And read books!"

"Whoa there slow down!" Kotetsu laughed. Lifting a hand, he tucked stray hair behind her ear. "Tell me all about it after I ask you a question."

Her eyes turned inquisitive. "What question?"

"What do you want for lunch?"

Kaede grinned at that. "Ice cream!"

But of course, the child would choose the sweetest, most unhealthy thing in the fridge for lunch. This child was definitely his, but no. No, Kotetsu would not start her on horrible habits. "You can have ice cream after lunch." Mostly.

"But that's what I want for lunch!"

"Oh really?" Shifting the girl to his hip, he freed a hand to tickle her sides. Throughout her laughter, she squirmed and tried to keep arguing her unhealthy choice in meal preferences. In the end, Kotetsu let her have an ice cream popsicle while they headed into town for french fries. The two ended up in a small diner not too far from Kaburagi's Liquors, Kaede's little fingers all coated in grease and salt and ketchup while she rambled about the best five and a half hours she had ever experienced.

"They tagged you it?" Kotetsu repeated, eyes wide with the shock only a parent could feign.

"Yeah! I had to run after them on the field!" she replied, nodding. She coated another fry in ketchup, focused on rotating the little cooked potato in as much of the red condiment as possible. "But I got Natsuko-she's one of the girls I met. She's not very fast, but I'm not either."

"I'm not so sure about that one. You could outrun me any day."

Kaede laughed. "But that's because you're old!"

"Hey!" He took offense to that! "I'm not that old, ya pipsqueak! Your papa's only thirty-one!"

"Natsuko's dad is only twenty-six!" she argued, and Kotetsu immediately regretted teaching her numbers so early.

"And how's that not old?" he tried to protest again. "He's bigger than twenty."

Kaede actually took a few seconds to think about this one, and Kotetsu was sure he had won this argument. But as she picked up the thoroughly-drenched fry, she shook her head. "You're still older."

Kotetsu whined softly. "Awww, Kaedeee! Don't tease your papa!"

She merely shoved the fry into her mouth, ketchup all over her lips. He considered taking a picture of it, but she would probably beat him up for it in ten years. Instead, he gave her the opportunity to wipe it off, cautioning her to go easy on the ketchup and avoid getting it on her clothes. The warning served as enough to have her leaning over the pile more carefully, but she continued to recount every detail of her new experience, more than excited to go back.

He worried for nothing, really. His baby was having fun there.

On the second day, Kaede came home with a new set of scribbles on her hands. Friendship tattoos, courtesy of her new buddy Jessica and a permanent marker. A dangerous combination, which resulted in tears around bath time when he attempted to scrub them off. Although somewhat faded, she got to keep them to the next day.

The third day? New stickers and doodle paper.

Kaede was more than pleased when her father said she could keep going to school for a while. School was fun to a four-year-old... It was odd. Kotetsu would never understand that.

By the fifth day, Kaede was a regular. They had cleared out Kotetsu's old desk for her, and he spent an afternoon helping her arrange her workbooks. It took a while, but after deciding on sorting things by subject instead of by notebook color, both felt accomplished. Once satisfied, Kotetsu sat her down in her chair, smiling sadly. With her little feet swinging on the chair and hands fiddling with the writing mat, she looked like she belonged there; it was a beautiful sight. He just didn't want to miss it.

He knew he'd miss it.

Kaede turned her head up, looking at him. Apparently she picked up on his thoughts, as her hazel eyes looked somber. "Papa... do you have to go back to Stern Bild?" she asked.

"I have to go back to work," he answered her with a nod. "Papa can't quit his job."

"Why not?"

"I have to help everyone. My job is really important, and it wouldn't be good if Papa didn't work anymore. And Papa has to pay bills."

The little girl frowned, eyes turning to the ground as her hands balled into fists. Just knowing he had to leave, no matter the reason, was already upsetting her. Kotetsu couldn't blame her. He didn't want to go, either.

Moving down to his knees, his arms wrapped around her and he held on tight, even as she struggled to get away. Her protests came out as grunts and soft whines, her struggling weak and uncoordinated. It wasn't until he felt tears drop onto his shirt that she had finally stopped fighting, and he only hugged her closer when she began to sob. He hadn't even left yet, and she already missed him. He could have cried himself-hell, he almost did. But he had to be strong. For Kaede. When she managed to calm down, she stayed curled against his chest, letting her dad rock her in her seat.

"I'll still come to visit," he said softly. "And I'll call, every day."

She sniffled, wet eyes turning up to him. "Every day," she whispered. "You can't forget."

"I won't forget," Kotetsu answered. He kissed her forehead and stroked back her hair. "Papa won't forget."

* * *

  
The phone was ringing. Of course it was, it was twenty minutes later than he had expected when he managed to rush through the door after speeding home. Things would have been better, so much better if he had managed to charge his cell phone last night. (If he could even find his charger; where the hell had he unpacked that thing?) He didn't even bother to get comfortable, just rushed to the phone to lift the receiver.

"Kaedeeee, sweetieee-"

"You're late, Kotetsu," his mother's sharp voice berated him.

Oh... "Yeah, Mom, I know. I was rushing back, and my cell phone died." Excuses, excuses. He sighed softly. "Where's Kaede?"

"She's mad at you," Anju continued, with a sigh of her own. "I let her watch TV while she waited."

He rubbed his face, already feeling uncomfortable. This was a disaster and it was only his first day back. "Maybe this whole time-arrangement thing isn't the best idea."

"Probably not, with how unpredictable your job is" she replied. "But you said you'd call every day. How else can you work around that?"

"I'll still call every day. I'm not breaking that promise. It'll just be at weird times."

Anju's frown deepened. "Just don't call after her bedtime."

"Yes, mom. Um... Can I talk to her?"

As much as he would have loved to listen to his mother lecture him, he wanted to hear his daughter's voice. As his mother set the phone down, she went to fetch the young girl.

"You're late!" she greeted him, a little less than pleasantly. He could hear the upset tone in her voice.

"I know, baby, I'm sorry," he apologized. "My boss kept me late."

Even she sighed. "Tell him he can't do that anymore!"

That huffy, exasperated tone made him laugh. His older brother was definitely rubbing off on her already. "I'll tell him tomorrow."

"Good!"

"So, how are you today, Kaede? How was school?" he asked.

And with that she rambled. She told him about her classroom's new decorations, the paper zoo, her favorite swing at recess, anything and everything she wanted him to know. And he absolutely loved it. His baby was so busy and so happy, and he loved to hear it. He could even picture her in the chair in the kitchen, legs swinging, those small hands animating her speech. Or she was probably fiddling with her ribbon, or running her finger along the table's edge. She asked about his job, and he told her it was boring, and long, and time consuming-she told him it was boring and she didn't want to know anymore. They talked about television, and he told her about a new billboard advertisement for a doll she should ask her brother to buy for her, and she told him a joke from a funny show she was watching when he called-but then she had to get ready for bed. Eesh, it was almost eight already! So he had to tell her goodbye.

They exchanged their I love yous and good wishes, and then they both told the other to hang up before Kaede's teary voice said she would hang up first.

Click.

Silence, now, in his apartment far too large for one. Kotetsu exhaled, slouching on the couch.

"This is hard," he said to no one.

Too hard to accept this so easily. He turned on the television to one of Tomoe's favorite programs set one of Kaede's stuffed animals on the couch, and drank beer until his heart was numb.


End file.
